So, I was thinking about what I should do for a blog post, because honestly, I need to post more. I can’t just create a blog and then drop it like a bag full of stones, now can I? Well… I can, but that would be a tragedy. Who knows what the smallest things that we rarely think about can do with the power of God… Where was I… right, blog posts. So I asked a friend of mine named Alec if she had any good ideas. Honestly, I can’t think when I want to, and I can’t stop when I want to. So, she said this and I quote, you can even check out the little quote things on the side.
What inspires you? What makes you want to live life? What moves your heart to action?
Works for me. Dunno why I haven’t bothered to clarify it yet here. Well, first of all, I have no idea what exactly inspires me. Not a clue. That’s not to say I don’t get inspired or anything of the like. It’s just I don’t have the foggiest idea of how or when it happens. Sometimes it’s not even triggered. I just look up and think “Woah, Inspiration!” Example. Randomly I just got inspired to write about Inspiration. Not my inspiration, just… inspiration. This is a note. To myself. To do, just that… later.
What makes me want to live life? Great question, with a great answer. What moves my heart to action? Another great question. I say they’re both kindof intertwined. I want to live life because… my action isn’t complete yet. In that case the true answer to both is what moves my heart to action, lies in the next paragraph. Ha.
All my life, whenever I saw someone who was hurting, not physically, but mentally, or emotionally, on some level, I feel their pain and emphasize strongly with them. Whenever my brothers would get in trouble wrongly, I would feel like I was the one accused. I wasn’t and I’ll admit it, I rarely got into trouble. Not really proud of that fact, but it’s true. If I heard someone crying, for whatever the reason, I’d feel like crying too. Someone told a sad story, I wouldn’t know what they were going through or had gone through, but I’d look for a way to relate to that. I’d look for a problem in my life, on a much smaller scale of course, and I’d imagine if it was much worse, exactly how I’d feel. There’s not a doubt in my mind that I still don’t have the foggiest what pain people in the world have gone through. I’m not good at feeling other people’s hurt, but one thing for sure I know. It felt like hell to them. It’s real. And it’s out there, and it hurts. So much. People, are hurting. Anyone over 20, atleast, that doesn’t hurt now, went through some kind of pain to get there. I’m not getting angry because there’s pain. Not at all. I think it’s good that pain exists. This world works on a set of balances, and one of those is “In order to get somewhere, you’ve got to be somewhere else.” If I want my room to be clean, first it’s gotta be a mess. If I wanna feel better, first I gotta hurt. If I want to be saved, first I need saving. Jesus works on that principle. In order for us to want him, we’ve gotta realize who and what we are without him. That’s what sin is for. We appreciate God and Jesus and heaven so much more if we just realize what the world is like without those things.
That also doesn’t mean that pain, and sickness, and sorrow are good things. No. Just necessary. We need them, so we can beat them. That is what drives me. That is why I want to live. Because healing, helping, giving comfort to those who need it, who have gone through enough, to those who have been abused, to those that cut themselves, to those who feel like the only way out is to die, is enough for me. Nothing less. I have watched people be hurt, and stood by, for too long. 15 years. 15 years without standing up. The hell am I doing? People are dying. Dying. For the sole reason that they believe the lie that death is better than this. Enough. I have never been much of a fighter. I’ve always stood by, watching, like I’m waiting for something. Hoping for someone else to step in so I don’t have to. What will people of think if I go and hug this person who needs it? Wimp. Wuss. Worthless. No more. I won’t die, until I make a difference. Until I save some lives. Until I reach out to someone who needs to feel like they’re worth something, and they’re not the only one.
Walk up to someone in the church today and say “How are you?” Few things put more fear into most Baptists than when the person asked says “Well…” and then tell you how they are. It’s become a courtesy, nothing more than a simple greeting. I’m a strong believe in saying exactly what you mean. So if I stop and say, “No really, How are you doing,” What would happen if I was given the real answer? “Life sucks and I wanna die.” “I don’t think anyone can love me.” “I don’t believe in God, so why am I here?” “I can’t stop looking at porn on the internet.” “My girlfriend’s pregnant.” “I’ve got scars up and down my arms” “Help me.” People, WAKE UP! YOU HEAR ME! I AM SPEAKING TO YOU IN CAPITAL LETTERS! CAPITAL LETTERS! People can’t hide things like that forever. No way. It finally comes out, and people are shocked. They think, “I had no idea, how could I have helped if I didn’t know?” I guarantee you, in that conversation, there is someone who is sitting there, nodding their head like it’s a tragedy, knowing full well the same thing is happening to them. Those of you who don’t know there’s a problem, I’ve got a solution for you. You can know, if you just ask. It’s easy. Like this. “How ya doin?” Usually they’ll say fine. “You sure?” Still fine. But at the minimum, they know you care. Or would be willing to listen. Don’t judge. Be willing to listen, and empathize. Be a good friend, be someone to trust, and people will start trusting you. Be there. Listen. Pray. Be open, and be alert. I saw this recently. In real life. Someone I know asked someone else I know how they were actually doing. Offered to help them, to be their friend, because they noticed they were hurting. He was LOOKING for it. Opening himself up, offering himself up. That, is the kindof man I wanna be. The kind of man I’ll become or die trying.
One day, I’m gonna find me a job where I can do that. Where I can be open, and help those in need. Writer, maybe. Writing books and articles and late night blog entries about those things, to help those people. Musician, maybe. I really like Skillet’s approach, especially their Comatose album. All those thousands of teens that attend their concerts, If any, the ones hurting most, who need healing the most, are touched by the words, put simply, and clearly. Skillet is not my favorite band, no. But I have to say, that’s the way I’d do it. Write good music with understanding and uplifting lyrics, and talk to people, help them, lift them up. Musician’s, especially Christian ones that speak to teens, make so much of a difference. Whatever the case, I’m going to put every once of passion and energy that I have been holding back for too long into every word, every line, every note that I say, until I can’t anymore. Because there are people out there who are willing to take a stand. Because there are people out there who need someone to stand for them. Because no one, can go through life alone. That, is why I want to live, and that, is what moves my heart to action.
